There are lots of things that you do really well, not least one of them being the scale of the annual Shakespeare Festival, more of which in a moment. You do extremely efficient and interconnected public transport which is sensibly priced. You do, famously, sensible road behaviour and crossings. I am really pleased that you do pavements that are smooth and do not have massive trip hazards and holes in, well done. You do efficient supermarkets that enable busy Drama teachers to get their charges around swiftly when needing to feed a school group in a hurry. You do clean, centrally located YMCA Hotels, which are not only convenient but fun to stay at too.
So especially for the last few points factors, well done.
However something you do really badly is getting coach parties of people into your country. It took a matter of minutes to get our party of 27 students, three teachers, one coach driver and coach out of Malaysia and to drive the few hundred metres through no-man's land to the Tuas Border Crossing. It then took lots of minutes for our coach to sit in a queue of coaches and quite a few more minutes to unload our coach of all the kids and their luggage before we joined huge queues inside an equally huge immigration hall. In total it took two hours to get our party through this ridiculous place. Our party of patient theatre goers stood in long lines for what felt like ages waiting for a uniformed official to stare at each individual, photograph each one, photograph each arrival card, take samples of our thumb prints and then stamp our documents. And then we had to have our luggage and selves scanned too.
I have told the world before, Singapore, that I am not a terrorist, drugs mule or general ne'er do well, but maybe you missed that blog post. The group of students, staff and I were coming into Singapore and were planning on putting lots of money into your economy. Due to the big delay the "going for a meal before the play" time was reduced to "the five minutes of tear-arse-ing around in Cold Storage kids otherwise we will miss the play and you will go hungry" time. Ok it meant that I could buy and enjoy a Starbar, but it certainly reduced what money our party would have spent. After breakfast this morning we begin the trek back to KL and have to face the same border again. Please, Singapore, sort it out.
My colleague who is leading this expedition had arranged for us all to watch Romeo and Juliet in the delightful Fort Canning Park, which is easy to get to thanks to the fine pavements, walkways and efficient road crossings that Singapore is famous for (but not its border crossings.) Our party, thanks to some very fast group marching, took out places on our innovative seating solutions (bin bags) a matter of minutes before the show began, with many of the kids who were steaming and sweating matching me well. The show itself, and I have to describe it as a show, rather than a play, was a curious mix of things that I am not sure worked all that well together. There was a space age set that was full of steps, large fallen crucifixes, metal, plus a slowing rising and falling bed on which R and J got very fruity, quite unexpected for Singapore. There was also lots of background, setting music that attempted to add to the mood, but really only jarred with the scene, including a Bollywood-esque dance sequence at the Capulet ball. Then there was the somewhat effortless opening section of thumb biting, Lord Capulet appearing to stumble over his lines and forget his characterisation in the massive family row scene. One student described it as more like West Side Story, while one colleague said it was more Blood Brothers than R&J. For me it was a show of the story that looked good, but had little substance, despite a pretty good and accessible Juliet really doing her best.
(Later)
For those who like to know these things the journey back to school, an estimated five hours, took just under ten. Border crossing hold ups.