Kidzania is an awful place and should be avoided like the plague. In fact a brief dose of plague or having a small hole holed drilled in the head might have been preferable to visiting this dark, stuffy and over-priced place.
People might ask why the hell the Lawrence Clan visited at all and I am asking myself that very question too. Today has been a day off from school due to the official Deepavali holiday in Malaysia. All Lawrence children had been before to Kidzania on a school trip, but separately of each other and were extremely keen to go all together. After much specific persuasion we finally relented and agreed to go today.
We arrived at the ticket counter along with loads of others too and were ushered in to the non-pre paid ticket area where we queued up just like an airport check in only to be told that when we arrived at the counter to pay we were at the wrong counter. There were plenty of advertising signs by the counter but none telling us that we had done the wrong thing. It was at that point that we should have regained control over our senses and left before paying RM301 for us all to go in. Sadly we did not.
We were each given wrist bands with electronic chips in them, it felt a bit like a police tag, and confusing tickets called Boarding Cards from one of the many sponsors of the place, Air Asia. However in true Air Asia style the cards were confusing and overly bureaucratic. They stated that out flight time was from 0930 to 1230, which bore little resemblance to the stated opening time of the place, 1000 to 2100. Next, before we could go in, we had to go past a security check, where three people stood around not enforcing the rule of no outside food or drinks. Then we were free to enter the main building.
Within a quarter of a second I was ready to cut our losses and go straight out again. It felt like walking into a shrunken shopping mall where the owners were economizing on the electricity bills by cutting back on their use of lights. The place was on two levels and had around 50 “attractions.” These attractions were allegedly there to challenge and stimulate young minds by providing kids with the opportunity to have a go at real life jobs. Every attraction was heavily sponsored by one company or another which left me unsure as to exactly what was going on. Was it an activity centre that wanted to challenge kids or was it a way to show the smiley friendly side of each business to accompanying parents?
Overall the experience was insidious. The only redeeming feature about Air Asia are its cheap prices. Its customer service is awful and that was reinforced by kids having to wait up to an hour to access the Air Asia airline simulator. CIMB Bank is a place that Lexi has had to spend hours in in the past to accomplish the very basic banking task of getting a bank cheque. So when kids had a chance to engage in banking activities at the CIMB stall, after queuing, I was reminded of the amount of time wasted in the past. And then when we walked past the Sprint Highway experience and saw kids trying getting to grips with roads tolls I considered what an inefficient way of collecting in money for road building and maintenance handing over a few coins to another human being is. The vaguely interesting make your own Cadbury’s chocolate bar or learn how Oreo cookies are constructed were both closed and so I was only afforded the chance to consider whether either company used palm oil in their products.
In short avoid the place. I also fear future flashbacks when confronted by Stabilo art materials, Nippon paints and Ayam brand tuna fish. I wonder whether the terrors of Kidzania will make me think twice about buying these companies’ products.
As a kind of PS to really rub salt into my wounds I was asked for my name, ID number and contact details on the way out. I detest ID cards and ID numbers with a passion and it was all I could do not to unleash a tirade at the four uniformed people gathered round the A4 notebook where guests were willingly writing down their personal details. I asked why the business collected such data and of course no one could give me an answer apart from saying that they would then like to contact me. Gosh I could tell them a thing or two.