That elated feeling of sending off the iGCSE and A Level coursework has vaporized for another year and I now find myself into the thick of the exam season. The Drama iGCSE exam was on Monday and the year tens are also taking their end of year exams too. Currently they are scribbling away furiously in a Geography exam. And how do I know this? I am invigilating it. Having read the exam paper and answered the question on the tributaries of the River Lee as well as browsed the stuff that I brought with me to I am now forced to reflect on the art of invigilation.
Much was made in the media a few years ago of the games that teachers play while invigilating. invigilating is a really dull part of the teacher's lot and they have traditionally found ways to pass the hours silently while trying not to let their minds decaying to dust. Seated in a classroom with 25 students, their desks and associated paraphernalia I am not able to move around and play the "spot the most ostentatious pencil case" game and being by myself a few rounds of "invigilators checkers" would seem a little pointless. Also, due to the smoothness of the finish on the walls I can't calculate the number of bricks needed for an unexpected rebuild of the room in case it was demolished by a sudden act of extreme weathering, hydraulic under-cutting or simply questioned to crumbling thanks to over enthusiastic social surveying. Well this is a Geography exam after all. Oh well I will just have to content myself with calculating the average number of sniffs per minute of the writers, currently seven, and trying to work out why one particular lad can't stop fidgeting.
As stated in the title I am not David Gould. David Gould is a thoroughly delightful chap who looks nothing like me. I speak from knowledge on this matter as I have the pleasure of examining my face at close quarters in my shaving mirror each morning. However a small cadre of elderly Chinese classroom assistants in the Primary school, all of whom seem to share the same hairdresser and wardrobe mistress, appear incapable of telling the famous Mr Gould and I apart. The giveaway for me is that Mr G wears glasses and I don't. Yes, ok, we both choose to have similar hairstyles, that classic male look, and both seem to have a liking for purple based shirts and are both of similar height, but beyond that there is no similarity whatsoever. Just to prove that point Mr Gould and I were both passing the Primary staff room this morning so he and I approached the cadre and presented ourselves for inspection to try to show that there is a clear and obvious difference. I am a little concerned though. What if, because the cadre all look very similar, I have approached the wrong group and simply spread more confusion?
The main sniffer has now developed an annoying cough.