I learned some startling stuff yesterday while having my haircut. I have found it quite tricky to find a barber who is able to cut my hair in a non-Malaysian style, very short around the ears and then long on top. I don't have a great deal on top so within two weeks of my snip I have usually ended up with a wedge shaped hairdo and fly away locks dashing out the side of my barnet. I simply haven't been able to do a thing with it.
Recently though I have found a barber who can cut my limited number of locks to a satisfactory style, style being a very inclusive term for a man with as much hair as me. Yesterday this barber gave me some interesting advice when checking under her microscope for signs of follicles on the top of my nut. Did I use shampoo, she asked? I am quite proud of my limited shampoo use. I haven't willingly used shampoo since 2002 those unwilling occasions being when Rupert has brought nits home from school or when a less enlightened hair-smith has gone at me with shampooing system and my guard has been down. Anyway yesterday's fine barber claimed that she could see signs of growth. "It is growing," she exclaimed. What as you look at, I thought? "No," she assured me. And then she gave me the tip of tips. Apparently what I needed to do was shampoo regularly to unblock the skin pores and that would enable my newly opened pores to sprout hair! So that's what the problem was!
I can't rush out immediately to buy shampoo as I have to send my bank account and passport numbers to Mr Daniel Smith, South African Attourney, who needs to transfer US$ 7.5million to me that was kindly left by the late Mr Edwin Gabriel. Apparently it has taken a long while, since the sad demise of the late and non-existent Mr Gabriel to get the money to me as the will was contested by his non-existent son, Andrew. Daniel Smith assures me that Mr Gabriel and I must have met as he was a widely travelled man. I wonder what his views on hair shampooing were? Shame we will never have chance to compare locks.