All Lawrences are currently shattered following the big move over a small distance. We have moved all our stuff from 82 to 79. While we might have lost numbers we have gained a bedroom and a small patch of garden as well as gaining only a small rent increase. Thankfully our marvellous home-help did most of the packing for us while we were away leaving us to sort out the bits and pieces. In tackling those things I managed to fill two large bags that became known as LMS bags (Last Minute Sxxt).
Telecom Malaysia came round to the new Chateau Lawrence today to set up the Internet, phone and TV stuff, but what a palaver it was to get it moved. I phoned up their office, selected the English language option and explained that we were moving. Could it be arranged over the phone? No. I had to come into one of their offices. Where was the nearest office? They couldn't explain. Try their website. So on Thursday afternoon children and I went to a TM office in Solaris only to find that it was the wrong sort of TM office. Instead we had to drive to Bangsar which apparently was the right office. While twelve staff milled around in the office one clerk took down the details of my movements, failed to ask for my passport that I was told on the phone I had to have with me, and inputed exactly the information that I had given over the phone. But the was one crucial addition: a rubber stamp on the order form. Without that the Lawrence Internet move could clearly not be sanctioned.
Someone who has very definitely not helped in the great move was Kenneth. This great man was appointed by the agent to the landlord to do the "important checks." He spent most of his time trying to arrange when to visit us and when he finally arrived spent too long discussing curtains. Apparently, according to Mr What's The Frequency, all curtains had to be cleaned and scrubbed, with receipts to prove it before he could approve our move. Once we reminded him that a colleague of Lexi's was taking over the house on the condition that she took it exactly as it was (hence a reduction in the rent price) he seemed to be satisfied. Great, I thought, it is curtains for you, Mr Kenneth. Until that is the subject of the electricity bill cropped up. He wanted proof that we had paid it. The only way to pay, I was told when arriving in KL, is by bank transfer, and that is what I have done for twelve months. Not good enough for Mr What's The Frequency who needed receipts. More long phone calls and texts messages ensued and apparently this insurmountable problem has been solved. However it is in Mr K's gift to decide how much of our RM2000 utilities deposit we have returned to us. Maybe I should have simply rubber-stamped Mr Kenneth and sent him back whence he came?
So we are in 79 along with some unwanted guests. Head lice. Once againRupert has generously collected them from someone and shared them with us. This evening I trogged over to the local chemist to find some treatment and in my clearest English asked for head lice treatment. The shop assistant looked at me for a moment and paused just long enough to show me that she had misunderstood. She then led me to a very expensive collection of specialist shampoos and directed my attention to their hair restorative properties. Stifling giggles I said that I was a bit past hair loss treatment and had to resort to doing a impression of someone with head lice, jumping up and down scratching and grimacing with gusto. Still she tried to draw my attention to hair loss stuff although thanks to the intervention of another assistant they finally got the idea that I was after nit gunge and did not want to look like Wayne Rooney or Elton John. Honestly do I look like a man who wants treatment for hair loss?