Short Measures and Culottes Down To Size. Thursday 13th September 2012

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Buying children’s school uniform is a hassling process, especially when you are new to the school and the country.  Thankfully some measures have been put into place to ease the hassled parent and even more hassled teacher-parent.  The school has its own shop where it sells pretty much everything that each current and new student needs.  School polo shirts, official school hats, PE tops and shorts, exercise and studying books and even pencils and rubbers.  OK it does get busy in the shop but the people who work there are efficient and know their stuff.  Great.  Easy.  Super.  Except that…

 

Observant people will have noticed that the shop sells pretty much everything that is needed.  The main items of uniform that it does not stock are uniform shorts, trousers, skirts or culottes.  These items have to be tailored by a visiting local company.  A small alarm bell began to tinkle ominously when I first discovered this news.  Measuring up two thousand pairs of legs and waists and then making several pairs of bottoms per measured lower half is not an operation to be undertaken lightly, nor is it likely to be one that achieves 100% success rate.  Anyway here’s what is meant to happen:

1.     Parent with child / children in tow arrives on week one for children to be measured and pay for garments.

2.     After queuing child is measured and numbers are written down on an order pad.

3.     Two weeks later garments are returned to school, collected and then worn by student.

Easy as pie.

 

Here’s what has happened so far to us.  Steps one and two went well, although there were many other parents with their many other children all around at the time when I showed up for measuring with my tribe.  Three more added to a crowd simply made a slightly larger crowd but it was still a crowd and it was still a challenge to get steps one and two done.  Last Friday, two weeks after the order was placed, I collected the finely tailored garments and took them home.  Edwin’s fitted perfectly.  That unfortunately is where the good news finishes.  Rupert and Trixie’s garments both failed the jump test.  The what test?   Many parents will be fully conversant with the jump test to check on the fitting of clothes.  If, after three jumps the trousers / skirts are still roughly in place then they are a satisfactory fit.  Both Rupert’s and Trixie’s garments failed on jump one and ended up round their ankles.  How can someone who took very exacting measures to achieve exact measurements end up getting them so very wrong?

 

Being a teacher I did not remove three Lawrence’s from their lessons to try on their freshly tailored garments because I did not want to disrupt their learning. Nor did it seem necessary as they were apparently going to receive bespoke bottom covers. 

 

And so to the solution?  Tomorrow, Friday, I will need to give up some of my non-contact time to remove children from their lessons to visit the alleged tailor between 1030 and 1230 and get the supposedly crafted shorts and culottes refitted, re-measured and re-made.   Doubtless it will take another week for the repairs to be effected without any guarantee of these repairs being successful.

 

The system appears to have been designed to use the maximum amount of time possible and to cause maximum inconvenience to parents who undertake that quaint pastime called work.  Could there not be a system whereby parents could visit a central place that is open throughout the day and stocks a range of sizes of said garments.  Perhaps this place could be called a, er, shop?  And it would appear that such a shop already exists at the school.   And so is it conceivable that this said school shop might be a very convenient place to act as a, er, retailer of ALL school uniform items?   There is a tremendous amount of common sense flying round at my school and it really is a breath of fresh air to breath and thrive on this clear educational thinking.  However tailoring school shorts etc is not common sense.

 

Very sweetly Trixie has attempted to bring a solution to her problem pants.  She has almost effected a like for like swap.  She has given one of her pairs of culottes to a girl in year one who has culottes that are too small for her.  Conveniently she has forgotten the girl’s name although is sure that she, the girl, has a pink armband and sometimes her Dad brings her to school.   I am currently somewhere between wanting to cuddle and kill Trixie.  Thank goodness for non-uniform day tomorrow.