I played football after school on Friday, very badly, but more of that in a bit.
This afternoon the Lawrence Clan went to Bukit Jalil Stadium to do some sporting research. The event in question that we went to analyse was a gang of former Premier League footballers dashing around playing six aside games along with a Malaysian Allstars team. The event was organised in to four teams, the already mentioned Malaysian Allstars, Liverpool Legends, EPL (English Premier League) Allstars and Manchester United Legends. And there were some legends present. The Liverpool Team were household names for the football followers of the late 90s and 00s. Jerzy Dudek in goal, defenders including Rob Jones, midfielders of Dietmar Harman and Steve McManamen and then the ever youthful Robbie Fowler. The resident commentator must have been paid by the number of times he mentioned Mr Fowler's name, either that or he had difficulty working out just who Steve Harkness was or why the team included 56 year old Mark Wright.
The EPL Allstars shone with various degrees of lustrousness. Dennis Wise, in his playing days probably the most inaccurately named footballer, ran the show, and scored a splendid semi-overhead goal, even he is getting on a bit. Tor Andre Flo managed to glide in and out of the game while Phil Babb marshalled the defence. The Malaysian Allstars were a bit out of their depth, but put up a spirited display against the other veterans. I am sure the two goals that they scored against Liverpool were generous donations though. Having knocked in two it was left to Dietmar Harman to reply buy chipping the ball over the Malaysian goalie's head from the halfway line, the message clearly being "Look, mate, this is how you score goals."
In the case of the Manchester United team the title "Legends" was almost stretched to breaking point, a bit like the indoor carpet pitch that had to re-stuck down between every eight minute half. I could accept that Lee Sharpe and Ronnie Johnson could be classed as potential legends, both of them having actually played reasonably often for the team. I also accepted Clayton Blackmore, although I found great difficulty in accepting his hair do, bleached blond on top, apparently due to a hair transplant. But announcing David Johnson and Carl Muggleton as Manchester United legends was really stretching credibility. Yes David Johnson did spend two years of his career at Manchester United but he only featured once as an unused substitute for them while a quick look at wikipedia confirms that Carl Muggleton appears to have played for almost every team except Manchester United. Still his presence in Malaysia could have been more than just to play exhibition football. He may also have been invited to offer much needed driving lessons to motorists here in his capacity as a qualified driving instructor (as well as goalkeeping coach).
Just before the final of the competition there was a "Hit The Cross-Bar" competition. Names were randomly selected out of a large container by Lee Sharpe and these lucky people were then invited to proceed down to pitch level to try to hit the crossbar three times. Their prize? A car. It felt a bit like a mixture of Superstars, 3-2-1 and Sale of The Century. "So, Mohammed, good luck with this shot. You are going for the car!" The difficulty of the task was made clear to all fans watching as one of the Manchester United alleged legends attempted the feat during the draw and only managed one success in five shots. I heard one spectator say "Funny how most of the people drawn out at random appear to from the VIP section."
Silly comments aside though it was an entertaining afternoon. The players were clearly enjoying the event as much as the commentator and the crowd and listening to rousing choruses of "You'll Never Walk Alone" coming from one end of the indoor arena would have gladdened the hearts of all Liverpool fans.
This afternoon can definitely be classed as research. I enjoyed my stagger around on the football pitch after work on Friday. I managed to stretch and reach the ball on several occasions and even succeeded in kicking the ball towards the wrong side of the goal, as well as over it with alarming regularity. Therefore I needed to see how the ex professionals did it. Clayton Blackmore was a master of missing the goal even Dennis Wise missed a few sitters. It happens to the best of, can I say us?