robinlawrence’s Space

Edwin and Lexi had spent too much time at a hotel in an outer suburb of KL over the past two days preparing for this great launch of the the V2 company, a group of characters who claim in their glossy literature to specialize in "Event Management, Image and Styling Creation, Dance Art and Studio Program, plus Talents and Models."  V2 also claim to be suppliers of an exceptionally durable set of dance wear called, slightly unfortunately, VDC.  I have no idea what V2 think VDC stands for but I am pretty sure they don't know what springs to many native English speakers minds' at the mention of such an acronym.

After two days of intensive inactivity and occasional rehearsals Lexi had been told that Edwin had to be back at the hotel today at 8.30am to get ready for the official launch starting at 2.00pm.  Knowing how elastic time can be here Edwin and I arrived at the hotel at 11.45 am and were immediately thrust into a world of frantic in-action carried out by loads of people.  We were greeted by several people on the reception desk whose main job was to get me to write my name in a book and then encourage me to take as many photos as I wanted.  After that activity it was time for lunch, while Edwin went in to make-up.  Having been involved in quite a lot of stage make-up recently I was expecting the professionals to do something really exceptional.  Instead when the V2 expert had finished his stuff Edwin was simply sporting some foundation and uneven coloured eye-brows.  We sat and ate fried rice and drank muddy coffee.

After these refreshments the time had moved on to 12.05 and, with less than two hours to go before the big launch nothing further appeared to be happening.  To set the scene a make shift stage had been erected with rows of chintz covered chairs facing it.  There was also a sound system and some lighting too.  Various teenagers sat around in various different dance outfits while staff tried desperately to look busy.   One lady walked around carrying a clipboard, iPad and pen.  Another man looked at things while making sure his ear-piece stayed in (he also had a walkie-talkie too).  A lady in a red jacket walked around grinning at people, trying to look like she was in charge.  In total, I counted eleven staff all looking for things to do and then there was the photographer who snapped away at anything and everyone.

1.30 came and some foolhardy extra people came to sit inside the function room that was playing host to "The Wonderful of the Dancers with Self Confidence."  These guests did not deter the choreographer, who was also the make-up expert apparently, and he then set about having a practice of the modeling and dances while the main doors were open and the audience watched on.  Satisfied that all was well he even made the cast of nine dancers and four heavily made-up others practise applauding the audience, which we duly assisted with.  This completed I wondered if that meant that the whole thing had finished and we were free to go.  

Sadly not.  2.00 to 2.30pm was set aside for "Guest registration" and so bang on 20 minutes late the great launch began and I sat back to try to cope with the planned four hour launch event.  Go V2!  

In the cheery tones reserved only for the wannabe DJ the MC welcomed all and sundry and especially the VIP guests, who turned out to be none other than the owner of the company and two of his mates.  These three fine fellows walked in to the now freezing cold function room through an arch of flowers.  We dutifully applauded as the VIPs were directed to sit down on comfy sofas by a woman in a yellow dress.  Admittedly they had just walked less than 10 metres and the room was dark and chilly so they probably needed directions.  They then took part in a complicated game of "After You,  No After You" as they all tried their best to make sure that each one sat down and was comfy. 

Next it was time for the opening speeches.  The MC welcomed everyone to the afternoon by saying "Good Evening" and then calling VIP 1, the company owner, by a slightly different name to that which was printed on the programme.  Neither man  appeared overly troubled by this.  VIP 1 thanked everyone for coming, and welcomed VIP 2 and 3, while neglecting to tell us what his company did, made or was about.  The MC invited up VIP 2 who thanked VIP 1 for thanking him and he welcomed VIP 3, who had travelled from Penang for this great event.  VIP 2 also welcomed VIP 1 to the event, presumably so that he did not feel left out.  VIP 3 then got to his feet, took to the stage and thanked VIPs 1 and 2 for thanking him and looked forward to the day when such a company might be operating in Penang, again without bothering to tell us what the company did.   All the guests were directed to and from the stage, an arduous journey of approximately 3 metres, by the woman in the yellow dress.

Finally after these inspiring speeches the MC got down to the serious business of showing off the clothes that, I think, V2 and VDC, might be trying to sell.  The first teenage models appeared on the stage and at almost exactly the same time second photographer appeared right in front of the audience, carefully blocking my view.  When I tapped him on the shoulder and moved him out of the way he seemed most aggrieved.  Sundry teenage dancers continued to walk on and off stage, with some of them dancing, while the MC made ever more claims about the durability, value for money and longevity of each and every garment.  Edwin did his stuff and didn't look too out of place so all was well, apart from a couple of very tiny costume errors.  As mentioned earlier Edwin was wearing his own dance trousers, made by a rival KL tailor, who always sews his company's name in orange cotton on the waistband.  He was also wearing a terrible looking practice vest that was too big for him and so he entered flashing safety pins and "Gents Attire" labels while the MC spoke about the glories of the V2 and VDC brand, neither of which appeared to be in evidence on eldest Lawrence.  No-one seemed to notice.  But then no-one seemed to notice the many many errors in the glossy programme either.  My favourite was "Dancers have to take into account such as the Design and Appearance, it would difficult to decide, therefore, V2 Concept Dance Arts & Styling founding principal is to provide a one-stop social dance lovers in Malaysia for the artistic beauty of the dancers'......"  

Fortunately due to the fast talking of the MC and the brevity of the speeches the whole event finished an hour and half early which left more time to enjoy the advertised "refreshment."  Various pieces of fresh fruit were on plates along with plates of battered prawns and cakes.  These delicacies were dwarfed by four, covered, silver dishes, all of which were empty.  Edwin and I fruited and left, returning moments later to collect Edwin's participant trophy that he had managed to leave behind.

If V2 and VDC succeeds as a business then it will surely be despite this glorious launch event.  Three full days of 17 people's hard work had gone on to creating this mess and on the evidence of today the company, who never really made it completely clear what it did or where it did it from, might be short-lived.  But as VIP 2 wrote in the glossy programme "We have a lot to be thankful for .... Thanks for the precious time."  I just wish these comedians had not taken up so much of my precious time.