Something that many commentators had thought for a long while was finally proved to be true this week: Lexi has the wrong sort of knees, as defined by Buddhism. On a visit yesterday to the Big Buddha on the massive island of Phuket (careful pronunciation is always advised) she was stopped from entering the area as her knees were on show, something to be advised in the hot temperatures. An official from the temple handed out a sort of sarong thing for her to cover her knees and then she was permitted to enter. It was a magnificent view across the whole island from the top of the hill, where, for reasons of seeking enlightenment, local Buddhists have build a whopping great Buddha head, visible from pretty much everywhere around. However it was the somewhat arbitrary nature of the knee covering for ladies that was my main concern. A quick glance around at the visitors showed me that the policy of female knee coverage was not being strictly enforced. Many women were permitted to enter with knees on show, especially those who were wearing skirts, both above and below the knee, or shorts that made contact with their knees. Other women were being given wraps to cover their shoulders, but then some weren’t. I wonder what Buddhists have against female knees? Male knees and shoulders are clearly enlightened things and are permitted to be paraded in front of holy shrines and the like. I am a little worried though: can women with the wrong sort of knees ever achieve enlightenment?
As well as enjoying our five days exchanging the heat of Kuala Lumpur for the heat of Phuket by swimming in clear blue seas, touring places that we felt we should, eating really good fish soups and trying to avoid getting sun-burned we had some moments of controversy too. Simultaneously celebrating the life and mourning the recent death of Michele Ferrero, aged 89, Rupert decided that he would like to have a generous portion of Snr Ferrero’s Nutella chocolate spread thereby having a fine start to the day while also adding to the US$23.4bn legacy of that famous man’s company. All so far so good, especially as the very fine host of Fiji Palms Resort where we were staying, Steve, delivered the jar to the table before the pancakes arrived. Time then moved in a two speed set up as it often does with small children whereby Lexi and I’s attention was distracted elsewhere for what felt like sometime while Rupert set to work. The two time zones crashed back together with an enraged holler from Trixie “EURGH! Rupert’s stuck his fingers into the nutella jar.” Parents looked round and saw the lid back on the jar and a guilty expression on the main man’s face. The shout had been so loud that all around had heard it. We were left with only one honorable thing left to do: buy the remains of the jar seeing as Lawrence digits had been shoved in the jar, as well as, knowing Rupert, plenty of other places too. Rupert now owes 212 Baht, as well as the remains of a debt built up for loosing two school wrist bands, one lunch box and one water bottle. Curiously no-one appears to have wanted to eat much of the spread from the nutella jar that Rupert now owns.
Lexi and I also took the opportunity to have some new work clothes made while in Thailand, a land of plentiful tailors. I got three more shirts and a pair of trousers made while Lexi took a favourite linen top and trousers of hers to be copied. We also did our best to get a new pair of dance trousers for Edwin. Someone might say that the tailor was thorough, others might say slow. We put the order in on Monday and were hopeful of a swift service. Tailors in Bangkok make great play of completing their orders in 24 hours or faster, but this was the countryside of Phuket. We appeared to have to make a daily trip in to see that tailor who wanted to make evermore adjustments and tweaks as the days passed. It also gave him yet another opportunity to advise us that our holiday would not be complete without a visit to his restaurant, which was conveniently next door. The final garment, Edwin’s trousers were the trickiest. Being dancing trousers they have to meet exacting standards and so we were asking for quite a tricky thing really, I suppose, but having been measured and drawn diagrams, shown him Edwin’s old ones etc for the tailor we were hopeful. The finished results were smaller and shorter than his current pair as well as being helpfully drain piped despite us insisting that they had to be straight-legged. It was back to the drawing board for the great tailor who took fresh measurements, new designs etc and had a go at doing them properly in the end. The second results wee much better, although nowhere near the quality of a KL tailor that we have used in the past. Ok the Phuket bloke was half the price, but the quality was less than half of the KL guy. You get what you pay for.
Back to work on Monday.